Friday was a tiresome day, not because of the workload but because of the rush. I almost burst into fury and stop collaboration at a project. I am not sure, I might have said some harsh words to the other person, I was too angered and overwhelmed to be aware of what I was saying. I hope I didn't offend, too much...I know I don't have much patience, but I try to pace myself. This person really pushes my buttons. She is a good person and I know she doesn't do this intentionally, but she is a very difficult person to work with. For some time, I blamed myself, thinking I had a problem, but I saw that she drives most people crazy. Finally, maybe it's a good exercise for my patience. If I will get to the point when it will be impossible for me to take it any more, I hope I will have the strength to retire calmly, without victims. I wanted to do it from the beginning when I saw I have problems with her way of work, but as usual I am weak and I don't want to leave people without support. Besides, I made the project, it's my baby, and I want somehow to nurture it and gather its fruit (take advantage of the trip in Turkey it includes).
Enough with work. Or..last night I staid till 3a.m. making some logos for the same project. I began in the afternoon and I don't know then the hours passed. Work is great when you enjoy it!
Today, I worked too, with the same spirit. I did things without being asked, because I know they have to be done.(I "blame" my mum for this compulsion to do my work till the end. The years of indoctrination have put their print on my behaviour.)
Besides work, I went in town for an anniversary present. It was a great day, with the perfect weather- neither cold, nor hot. I was amused by my encounter with a former student. She greeted me very respectfully, but I felt a bit uncomfortable. She looked more like the teacher than I did. She is very tall, very blonde and stylish, while I prefer comfortable clothes, without heels. I felt small and unnoticeable. I should really pay more attention to my look...Even if I lose one of my pleasures- walking a lot. Tomorrow...(quoting Scarlett O'Hara)
Another encounter, one of many, was with an acquaintance who was telling me about her daughter's health problems (yes, a leitmotif for my visits to town). What shocked me was that she was telling me that woman, who is very religious, is fasting very harshly, refusing even oil cooked meals and medication. I really don't understand why it would be against God to eat oil, which is made from sun-flower or other plants. And what about drugs? I wonder if there is any Orthodox priest who forbids them and what explanation he gives for that. I really doubt that this is written somewhere. If it is, I really think that is a big deal and I would have a problem with that piece of writing.
We don't take medication because we are all right. And what kind of religion would ask us to give up our health only because it says this is liked by God? I really think that that woman took things too far and she invents rules for herself and to be sure she is in God's favour. I think she really needs specialist. Her mother said there is no reasoning with her, so she would not accept this specialised help voluntarily, she doesn't realise she has a problem. But for her health, her parents must do something to hospitalize her, or they will have a bigger problem. She can die of starvation, she eats little food and doesn't drink water, and because of her untreated stomach illness.
She is a walking corpse now. She looks old beyond her years in her black nun-like clothes. I remember her some years ago, at a wedding. She looked like a movie star, she used to be very beautiful and fashionable.
Talking about this, reminded me about a distant relative who died of cancer. She was in her early forties when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. A surgery would have extracted the cancer cells and saved her life, but before her surgery she went for an advice to her priest. And surprise, surprise...he told her that it would be a sin to do that, that letting the doctor cut her breast would be an act against God. He said that God will, no doubt, take care of her and cure her. He recommended her to try natural remedies and a lot of prayer.
Being in a very difficult moment emotionally, she caved in and turned to religion, giving up surgery. She even decided to sell her house and move to a monastery in the North of Moldavia and live like a nun in prayer. After a couple of months the pains began and she reconsidered her decision of giving up surgery, but unfortunately it was too late, the cancer had spread into her body.
When I visited her to that monastery (with a cousin who wanted to say her good -byes, because the end was obvious) she couldn't leave her bed any more, the cancer being spread in one of her lungs and a leg. It was...painful to see her. She was taking lots of drugs, but not even those weren't able to take her horrible pains. I hope, this would be a lesson for people who read this. Don't give up on modern medicine! You wouldn't want to get in her situation. It was almost 10 years ago and I still remember everything from that house and especially her room. It was a mind-carving image. And we couldn't do anything to help. We were talking and trying to make her talk, forget for a second, at least, about the pain and at the same time to fill in the silence, full of tension.
She died a month after, if I remember correctly. She had many more days of growing sufferance. I wouldn't wish that to the worse killer in history. Please, people promise to take care of yourself in any way possible. I made this promise to myself then and I want to stick to it. I totally agree with the Romanian saying: "Health is better than everything!"
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Road trip
Yesterday was a regular day, but tiresome so I couldn't convince myself to write anything. A girl locked in a cupboard was the only uncommon event. I began that class as usually but I was surprised by the outbursts of laughter from a group in the class. I almost got upset thinking that they had something with me, but they decided to share with me that they were laughing knowing about their classmate locked in the cupboard. I was scared of their actions and demanded them to unlock that as soon a.s.a.p. To my surprise, the girl was locked there with her own will. She kept insisting that she likes it in there and she would like to stay there the whole class. Off course, the scene was very funny for the whole class and there were several volunteers who wanted to squeeze in there with her. And these are 18-19 years old students.... I had some difficulties calming them down very fast. I wanted because I didn't want their uproar to alert the school, especially knowing that there were some officials in the school. I know that they took the permission of doing this with me, because I take it as a joke, while this would get them in serious trouble with other teachers. The rest of the class went great as usual with them. After the childhood act, they showed their grown-up side-seriousness in learning. Would you have done differently?
Today was another story, I had a road trip to another town for the semester's teacher's meeting. In the car, full with colleagues, we laughed and sang on 70's and 90's tunes all the way there and back. The trip began with emotions, when we had to go to the gas station, the car being in serious danger of stopping from lack of fuel. The driver went in the gas station on the way of the exit, cutting sharply on the other circulation way. She didn't think too much at the dangerous maneuver, being used to it. To our surprise, in the gas station there were two police cars. We could already see the huge ticket, but the policeman fueling his car took a long, delighted look at her legs while she descended from the car and said nothing. I think she was lucky she was wearing a short skirt and a big butterfly smile. That was only the beginning!
When we arrived at the destination, we found all the front parking lot full, so we parked it in the back. We left the car there with doubts that we would find it whole at our return. It has no alarm and that town is well-known for its colourful natives who like to collect and sell everything they can get their hands on. Ownership is overvalued there, finder's keepers is the law.
We got to the presented class late, but I don't think we missed much. It was very difficult to hear the teacher and when I heard her she was doing some mistake. It was a weak, unfocused class, but I didn't want my colleagues to attack her and make her cry, as it happened before with other weak lessons from our department. I found out later that she received some harsh comments from two of my older colleagues in a short break we took.
As usual, in this situation, at the discussion part of the meeting there was an awkward long silence. Because I hate these tense moments, I made a habit of interrupting them saying something about the lesson. Thus, I opened the discussion and gave some suggestions for improvement. I congratulated her for her effort, of preparing lesson. Luckily this managed to guide the discussion to a more friendly path. Nobody felt inclined after that to throw a stone in that teacher. I feel well that I averted the war. I did my good deed for the day. By the way, do you have suggestion on how to pacify a sharp tongued group of women? It seems they want to tear each other apart every time they meet. Is it woman's nature to gossip and throw poisoned arrows with an angelic smile on her face?
Today was another story, I had a road trip to another town for the semester's teacher's meeting. In the car, full with colleagues, we laughed and sang on 70's and 90's tunes all the way there and back. The trip began with emotions, when we had to go to the gas station, the car being in serious danger of stopping from lack of fuel. The driver went in the gas station on the way of the exit, cutting sharply on the other circulation way. She didn't think too much at the dangerous maneuver, being used to it. To our surprise, in the gas station there were two police cars. We could already see the huge ticket, but the policeman fueling his car took a long, delighted look at her legs while she descended from the car and said nothing. I think she was lucky she was wearing a short skirt and a big butterfly smile. That was only the beginning!
When we arrived at the destination, we found all the front parking lot full, so we parked it in the back. We left the car there with doubts that we would find it whole at our return. It has no alarm and that town is well-known for its colourful natives who like to collect and sell everything they can get their hands on. Ownership is overvalued there, finder's keepers is the law.
We got to the presented class late, but I don't think we missed much. It was very difficult to hear the teacher and when I heard her she was doing some mistake. It was a weak, unfocused class, but I didn't want my colleagues to attack her and make her cry, as it happened before with other weak lessons from our department. I found out later that she received some harsh comments from two of my older colleagues in a short break we took.
As usual, in this situation, at the discussion part of the meeting there was an awkward long silence. Because I hate these tense moments, I made a habit of interrupting them saying something about the lesson. Thus, I opened the discussion and gave some suggestions for improvement. I congratulated her for her effort, of preparing lesson. Luckily this managed to guide the discussion to a more friendly path. Nobody felt inclined after that to throw a stone in that teacher. I feel well that I averted the war. I did my good deed for the day. By the way, do you have suggestion on how to pacify a sharp tongued group of women? It seems they want to tear each other apart every time they meet. Is it woman's nature to gossip and throw poisoned arrows with an angelic smile on her face?
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Uneventful
I had the hiccups all day. Seeing me holding my breath, some students thought their classroom smelt bad and they opened the window. It is said that when you have the hiccups, somebody is talking about you. I was thinking who had so many things to say about me and when would they stop to allow me the teach my classes properly. Of course, I am sure that it was only the change in temperature. I think it was funny though to see my attempts to speak, muffled immediately by a loud hiccup.
Today, nothing great to report, except a delegation from a plant. The Turkish translator kept looking at me, which was very weird. He seemed a complete stranger to me. Finally, he decided to let me know that he was a former student of mine. Wanting to break the ice more I asked him smiling if I was harsh to him. The very serious answer was "kind of..." Imagine how I felt. The conclusion is that I should be kinder to my students, you never know where they'll end up.
Without any relation- I remembered something a friend told me about a teacher, who had been her neighbour. He used to stay on his balcony and spy with binoculars on his neighbours - women. That reminded me of a joke about a boy who was asked by his parents to do the same thing. This was their solution to keep him busy while they were doing something else in the bedroom. As to make sure that he was safe on the balcony, his father told him to keep talking, telling him about what he was seeing.
The five years old soon became used to this routine. One evening, he was sharing what he was seeing in the close-by apartment block like this: " I see old Mrs Johnson breast feeding her baby...Jane from the first floor is jumping over the window in her miniskirt while her parents watch the TV in the living room...Mr Black is trying a new red dress in the mirror...he doesn't look half bad, except for the beard...and I see also Michael, my kindergarten classmate, looking through his binoculars. He's freezing his pants off on the balcony while his parents are doing the same think as you do. Please finish quicker, dad!"
Today, nothing great to report, except a delegation from a plant. The Turkish translator kept looking at me, which was very weird. He seemed a complete stranger to me. Finally, he decided to let me know that he was a former student of mine. Wanting to break the ice more I asked him smiling if I was harsh to him. The very serious answer was "kind of..." Imagine how I felt. The conclusion is that I should be kinder to my students, you never know where they'll end up.
Without any relation- I remembered something a friend told me about a teacher, who had been her neighbour. He used to stay on his balcony and spy with binoculars on his neighbours - women. That reminded me of a joke about a boy who was asked by his parents to do the same thing. This was their solution to keep him busy while they were doing something else in the bedroom. As to make sure that he was safe on the balcony, his father told him to keep talking, telling him about what he was seeing.
The five years old soon became used to this routine. One evening, he was sharing what he was seeing in the close-by apartment block like this: " I see old Mrs Johnson breast feeding her baby...Jane from the first floor is jumping over the window in her miniskirt while her parents watch the TV in the living room...Mr Black is trying a new red dress in the mirror...he doesn't look half bad, except for the beard...and I see also Michael, my kindergarten classmate, looking through his binoculars. He's freezing his pants off on the balcony while his parents are doing the same think as you do. Please finish quicker, dad!"
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